In the midst of this Imus controversy the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team showed the world what it really means to manage your anger.

Effective anger management should include good communication skills, stress management, anger management and emotional intelligence–according to George Anderson who is a globally recognized anger management expert. In the face of the insults that Imus hurtled at them I am amazed that they displayed such noteworthy anger management skills. This team, guided by their fearless coach, first displayed the emotional intelligence to sense their own emotions and the emotions of the world around them. They acknowledged their hurt and shock but chose to respond without aggression-even if they had good cause to do so. They faced the public in a dignified manner and showed their ability to communicate clearly to the public that they were hurt by Imus’ remarks.  They went further by initiating a dialogue with him in an open and non-confrontational manner.  They chose to reserve judgments or statements about his character choosing rather to focus on the issue and seek resolution.  This is anger management at its finest.

At the core of anger management is an unmet need, according to John Elder. One hundred percent of the time, in cases of explosive anger, individuals seek to meet these needs in inappropriate ways which only lead to destructive results. In the case of the Rutgers team they are an example for us all in how to deal appropriately with our anger. I am mostly impressed that this dignified group of your women faced their accuser and had an open dialogue. Imagine if more of us did this-we would cut the murder rate dramatically.

Anger management as a field must been seen as a broader concept that involves good communication skills, emotional intelligence, stress management and anger management. I applauded the Rutgers team and I encourage my reader, if you struggle with anger and you need help visit http://www.anger-managementresources.org/ for a highly trained anger management provider in your area.  Again, to the Rutgers women’s basketball team you are an example in good anger management to us all.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF
President, American Association of Anger Management Providers
Carlos Todd is an Anderson and Anderson Anger management provider in North Carolina. http://www.angerhurts.com/
http://www.angeronmymind.com/
http://www.aaamp.org/
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.anger-management-resources.org/